Amanda and the Love Struck Contractor by Davenport Reva

Author:Davenport, Reva
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2023-09-23T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Amanda

I shudder awake and look out my bedroom window. I guess it’s around three AM from the quality of the light. Still plenty of time to get some rest before the day ahead.

But I’m wide awake. And I’m hot. Sticky with sweat. I pull at the collar of my shirt and try to fan myself, then kick off the blankets, relishing the coolness of the air on my dewy skin.

The window unit groans. Hasn’t stopped working for a second in the July night heat.

However, my fever isn’t just from the weather.

I woke up from a dream that I shouldn’t be having. A dream about Ryan Carlton and his stupid, pretty face and those rock-hard biceps and the way his mouth curls when I get flustered.

I should have kissed him last night. Should have just gone for it. Then, maybe my brain wouldn’t be betraying me, creating a fantasy that I can’t have. Scratch that. I’m denying myself the fantasy. It was clear from the way his hand landed on my arm that he wanted to finish what we started on the Fourth of July.

And I wanted to as well. Desperately.

Something inside me is holding me back.

I don’t anticipate falling asleep any time soon, so I get up and go to the kitchen to pour myself a cold glass of water. I chug most of it down in one go, the chill spreading through my body, breaking my fever, giving me a reprieve from the inner heat waves.

I glance around the main room in the dark. Ikea furniture dots the space. A sofa, some wingback chairs, a credenza for the television. In the nook of windows, there’s a cheap dining table with four chairs, although it’s rare even one of them is used. I prefer to sit by myself at the coffee table in front of the television for a meal rather than be taunted by the lack of company.

I sigh. I’m trying to create a life here. Trying to move on from the pain I left behind in the city.

Now, though, I’m the one getting in my own way.

Lexie is right. I’m a bit of a hermit. I keep to myself. She’s the one always extending the invitation for plans. I’ve pretended to be contented going to work and coming home, cooking single-portion meals for myself, and watching crap television programs.

Nursing this little crush, a tiny ember that’s now turned into a raging flame, just like it was when I was a kid.

On one hand, falling for Ryan is so comforting. He knows pieces of me only a few people in the world do. And yet, at the same time, it’s scary to think I might show up as the girl I used to be. Naïve and ignorant to the ways of the world and the pain people can cause.

I’ve changed. I’ve grown. Not just on the outside.

I think it’s time I give myself some credit for that.

If I want him to see that…I have to let him in.

The last time I let someone in, they broke my heart.

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